Portrayed By Paul Bettany
Gender Male
Sexual Orientation Heterosexual
Religion Catholic
Date of Birth March 31st
Age 36
Occupation Vagabond/Derelict
Known Relatives None
Significant Other None
Apt. Number The steps, behind the dumpster, and occasionally in the maintenance room.
Appears In Your Mother

Boone is a man who speaks little about his past, but is generally quite cheerful and approachable. He never begs, but accepts all forms of donations, as he has no home or steady source of income. He's known to offer help to strangers with no thought of reward, engage passersby in long conversations about philosophy, and is very rarely seen without his ferret, Goliath.


I have been many things. Priest. Teacher. Husband. Father. Soldier. Now I am none of those things. After my family was murdered, I was stripped of both my cloth and my position as a professor. Though I was not convicted of their murder, the bizarre and gruesome circumstances that surrounded their deaths made it impossible for me to get either of my old jobs back.

I joined the Army and served as a combat medic for a time. Disaster seemed to follow me wherever I went. Moments before I'd arrive or seconds after I'd leave, an IED would go off and kill everyone in the room, or a band of insurgents would blow up a piece of cover with an RPG.

One day, I sinned and I liked it. After watching a sniper pick off several of my comrades, I took him out with a lucky shot from an AT-4 rocket launcher. I destroyed an evil thing and I enjoyed it.

That was the day I deserted my post and swore I'd never serve the military again. It took a long time for me to find my way back to the states. I met Goliath when I was hiding in the belly of a cargo ship en route to New York. I shared what little food I had with my fellow stowaway, and he's been with me ever since.

So have the disasters. Accidents. Fires. Car crashes. They just keep happening and happening and happening. I don't even try to settle down anymore. I just eat what I can find, sleep where I can, and wait for the next catastrophe.



For a man who has seen what he's seen, Boone is remarkably jovial, friendly, and helpful. He's a lonely man who lives a lonely life. He's educated, religious, and has no one to share his ideas and ideals with, so he talks to strangers when the mood strikes him.

He also truly believes that he's the cause of the many deaths that have occurred in his presence, that he carries some undefinable quality that generates accidents and violence.

He's also at least partly insane, if not completely. See above statement for verification.


Boone is as well-groomed as any homeless man you're likely to meet. While he does tend to carry at least a few days of stubble, his ginger hair is shaggy, and his clothing could generally use a wash, he takes great pains to keep himself as clean and decent as possible.




  • Goliath - Boone and Goliath have been keeping each other company for about a year now. Goliath spends most of his time riding around on Boone's shoulder and doing tricks in exchange for treats. Boone speaks with the ferret just as he would a person, which some people find strange. He's extremely intelligent for a small animal, knows his name, and responds to a limited array of commands.

Miscellany/Author's Notes

It remains to be seen if Boone really does unintentionally influence the course of events around him, or if he's just insane. These need not be mutually exclusive, as he's crazy in plenty of other ways.

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